Wound that doesn’t heal, festers..

When I first started this blog, my only intention was to empty my mind.

A mind can be a home for beautiful thoughts or store room of useless, bothersome things that has no outlet at times.

Pensive for muggles was like a personal diary/blog to cleanse my brain from becoming a store room.

I admit I am lucky to find an outlet for my negativity. Some are not so lucky. Some use ranting, hurting others to rid themselves of their negativity.

I’ve been friends with someone for nearly 4 years now. I don’t call her my bff ofcourse, but this lady is someone who I’ve shared some of my best moments that could cast on top 10 of my favorite moments.

Its not been an easy alliance either. We both, I think, are complex people who leave a our complexity aside and be sweet, supportive light-hearted people around each other.

Maybe it is a form of escapism, but it sure feels good.

Last few days, there’s been problems brewing just below the glimmering surface of our friendship. And this time, I know its not my brain messing things up.

Whatever our problems are and whether we manage to solve it or not, is another matter of discussion.

What came to my mind today, while in the middle of this is, why do we incubate our feelings and issues instead of just sharing them and talking about them?

Oh, we do talk about them but only after we’ve blown it way out of proportion in our minds.

What could’ve been a small discussion of 20 minutes becomes a pain fest of half a day with people trying their best to hurt each other all that time.

The darkness that infests in us comes out dancing around and pulls everything inside it like a black hole vacuum to tear us apart.

I’m no saint or wisest person around. I have flaws, many of them. But today after decluttering my mind, I’ve made a promise with myself that I will not let small wounds fester in me anymore.

If something bothers me, instead of behaving like a know-it-all doctor and sorting mess in my head myself, I will let not shy or be too proud to ask for help.

Isn’t acceptance first step of solving every problem that exists?

Mounting in jealousy, hurt, rage, paranoia can do nothing but damage.

It is said our brain is still a mystery to us. We don’t know how ,why and when it works the way it does.

Why something that looks about the same everytime works different for everyone.

Sometimes this very thing makes our biggest problems to go away in a heartbeat and sometimes it makes our smallest problems pent up like a volcano, ready to explode and burn every tender thing you built all this time.


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